I’ve always thought our parenting is very equal between the kids but when it comes to their interests we treat them differently. As women this is programmed from an early age. In order to do this we have to let go of the ‘unnecessary’. We’re expected to care and nurture and to grow wise. Women are expected to mature as they age, and gracefully please. Carvan usesīeatlemania as an example of super female fans who are dismissed as crazy - even the word mania suggests some kind of illness. Whether the change is triggered intrinsically or extrinsically there is this unfair judgement that's made on female superfans. Something happens during those years from teenager to adult where you stop loving things as unabashedly as you once did. As the book's title suggests, it is not a book about Benedict Cumberbatch but the author's crush on the UK actor is used to highlight how one loses their teenage freedom, fandom and passion as they transition to adults who become weighed down with the seriousness and duty of everyday life. ‘Play’ is one of the core ideas of ‘ This is not a book about Benedict Cumberbatch’ by Tabitha Carvan - I have mentioned this book before and will probably mention it again because it is basically 280 pages explaining why we need to play as adults and why it's so important, especially for women. There are barely enough hours in the day to get everything done that's required just to survive, let alone time to do something for ‘fun’. Adults don’t have time to play, especially parents. I was recently introduced to this idea of ‘play’ as an adult and I thought it sounded silly. How much time do you have in your schedule for play? For selfless joy? For something that has no apparent purpose other than delighting you? Most of us will have little to no space carved out for such frivolity, and if you're a woman, especially with children, then it's even more likely the answer is zero.
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